brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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