Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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