i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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