At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
