Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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