So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
