you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
