i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Drunk is not a location!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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