Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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