ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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