I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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