I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
