you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize