I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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