doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
