there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
