hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
