i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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