Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
