Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
