I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
