I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
