"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
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His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
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If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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