then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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