i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
