No stitches, just platelets and will power
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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