All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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