i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
