I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i was born a porn star she said
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
