My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I can't turn off my feet"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
