the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
