The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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