Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
