Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
