How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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