Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
