it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
