my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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