Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
