dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she smelled like a LAN party
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
