I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
