He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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