I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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