I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
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no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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