That's when you crack a 10am beer
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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