But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
