so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
