Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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