wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
