sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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