you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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