im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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