all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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