Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
