i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
