i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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