I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
