here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
