Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
