This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
