i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
